{"id":2442,"date":"2019-11-21T03:08:12","date_gmt":"2019-11-21T03:08:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mugwortborn.wpengine.com\/project\/episode-fifteen-crushes\/"},"modified":"2020-12-02T15:18:36","modified_gmt":"2020-12-02T15:18:36","slug":"episode-fifteen-crushes","status":"publish","type":"project","link":"https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/pt-br\/project\/episode-fifteen-crushes\/","title":{"rendered":"EPIS\u00d3DIO QUINZE: Paix\u00f5es"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; admin_label=&#8221;section&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.22&#8243;][et_pb_row admin_label=&#8221;row&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_post_title meta=&#8221;off&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.4.8&#8243;][\/et_pb_post_title][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Text&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.4.8&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p><span lang=\"pt-BR\">Obsess\u00e3o e paix\u00e3o podem ser ben\u00e9ficas, isso no entanto depende de quem esteja apaixonado e de quem seja o objeto da paix\u00e3o. Quem se apaixone por Siddharta \u00e9 uma pessoa de sorte. Abrigar tal sentimento por algu\u00e9m sublime significa que se tem bom gosto e um bom v\u00ednculo c\u00e1rmico.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span lang=\"pt-BR\">Nos apaixonamos pelas pessoas mais improv\u00e1veis e isso se deve \u00e0s conex\u00f5es c\u00e1rmicas. Muitas vezes nos apaixonamos por pessoas que nos destruir\u00e3o. Simplesmente nos deixamos levar por coisas assim, como um mosquito que pula direto num daqueles mata-insetos el\u00e9tricos que os fritam ao menor contato. Outras vezes nos apaixonamos por pessoas que nos conduzem na dire\u00e7\u00e3o certa. \u00c0s vezes temos o carma para nos apaixonar por pessoas que tanto nos destroem quanto nos conduzem na dire\u00e7\u00e3o certa, o que n\u00e3o \u00e9 de todo mau. E \u00e0s vezes somos n\u00f3s o objeto da paix\u00e3o e mesmo sem notar podemos destruir o apaixonado. Ou podemos conduzi-lo na dire\u00e7\u00e3o certa.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-312\" src=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/9f64d5692f217ce7d86da26171cf6fee-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/9f64d5692f217ce7d86da26171cf6fee-1.jpg 640w, https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/9f64d5692f217ce7d86da26171cf6fee-1-300x225.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span lang=\"pt-BR\">Tive tantas paix\u00f5es na vida. Como muitos outros, muitas vezes me apaixonei por gente que nunca conheci, por gente fugidia, gente inating\u00edvel, gente totalmente proibida pra mim, como a m\u00e3e do Rinpoche que mencionei <\/span><a href=\"ttp:\/\/mugwortborn.wpengine.com\/project\/episode-seven-loss-of-innocence\/\">anteriormente<\/a>.\u00a0<span lang=\"pt-BR\">O carma funciona assim mesmo. Por ironia, posso ter tido mais paix\u00f5es do que a maioria pelo fato de que eu supostamente n\u00e3o devesse ter nenhuma. Supostamente, eu deveria ser um lama, uma encarna\u00e7\u00e3o, um tulku, acima dos seres humanos comuns. As pessoas ao meu redor pretendiam me proteger das distra\u00e7\u00f5es. Eles acreditavam que fosse seu dever me afastar dos objetos das paix\u00f5es e garantir que eu enxergasse as mulheres como um empecilho, na melhor das hip\u00f3teses, e como poss\u00edveis criadoras de obst\u00e1culos. Creio que a mente humana tenha uma propens\u00e3o a desejar o que seja proibido, porque nada disso me demoveu. Sempre tive curiosidade em rela\u00e7\u00e3o \u00e0s mulheres e ao romantismo. O fruto proibido \u00e9 o mais doce.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span lang=\"pt-BR\">Meus tutores me forneceram vis\u00f5es bastante contradit\u00f3rias sobre as mulheres. A maioria deles de fato denegria as mulheres e as pintava como vil\u00e3s, especialmente os tutores mon\u00e1sticos que praticavam a ren\u00fancia \u00e0 vida familiar. Eles pessoalmente faziam todo o poss\u00edvel para evitar o desejo e as distra\u00e7\u00f5es que os relacionamentos acarretam e, j\u00e1 que era assim que viviam, naturalmente pregavam o mesmo, como um vegetariano que promove o vegetarianismo. Era esse o seu h\u00e1bito. Era assim que agiam. Suponho que se eu fosse um Rinpoche do sexo feminino eles talvez pregassem que os homens fossem distra\u00e7\u00f5es, que \u00e9 como supostamente as monjas devem pensar. Por outro lado, outros dos meus tutores, os iogues, me ensinaram que denegrir as mulheres era um desvio. Lembro-me que um dos meus tutores, um iogue chamado Lama Kunga, que havia sido disc\u00edpulo de Lama Gangshar, me dizer que num \u00fanico cacho de cabelo de uma mulher havia bilh\u00f5es de cidades de dakinis.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span lang=\"pt-BR\">No entanto, parece que em todo o mundo e particularmente na \u00c1sia, h\u00e1 esse posicionamento cultural que considera as mulheres inferiores. Ainda hoje em dia em certos mosteiros, especialmente em lugares como o But\u00e3o, as mulheres s\u00e3o impedidas de entrar em certos santu\u00e1rios de protetores, como o santu\u00e1rio de Mahakali. \u00c9 compreens\u00edvel que um mosteiro exclua as mulheres, j\u00e1 que \u00e9 praticamente um albergue de meninos. No entanto, \u00e9 ir\u00f4nico que impe\u00e7am a entrada de mulheres no santu\u00e1rio de Mahakali em particular, porque Mahakali \u00e9, ela mesma, a forma suprema da feminilidade. Creio que isso seja um fen\u00f4meno de cunho absolutamente cultural que acaba manchando o Buddhadharma.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-314\" src=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/6247685956_c50bcf9be1_b-1024x768.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"768\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/6247685956_c50bcf9be1_b.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/6247685956_c50bcf9be1_b-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/6247685956_c50bcf9be1_b-768x576.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span lang=\"pt-BR\">Meus tutores eram particularmente cautelosos com as mulheres ocidentais: &#8220;As garotas Ingie&#8221; como eles as chamavam. Eles simplesmente n\u00e3o sabiam como se relacionar com elas, com seus cabelos claros, olhos azuis e pele alva, vestidas em roupas insinuantes, como as cal\u00e7as jeans. Os lamas estavam acostumados a ver garotas tibetanas em grossas roupas t\u00edpicas que se pareciam com grandes cobertores, t\u00edmidas e com os olhos baixos. Mesmo as saias longas usadas pelas mulheres ocidentais eram consideradas instigantes. Era a linguagem corporal das Ingies, a maneira como olhavam diretamente nos olhos do interlocutor, como \u00e9 a forma educada de se fazer no ocidente. Ent\u00e3o, na perspectiva dos lamas, as mulheres ocidentais eram perigosas e as advert\u00eancias eram ininterruptas. Eles estavam convencidos de que os tulkus estavam sendo arruinados pelas garotas Ingie, mas estatisticamente isso n\u00e3o \u00e9 verdadeiro. Muitos mais tulkus fugiram com mulheres asi\u00e1ticas, por\u00e9m havia esse tipo de preconceito.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-315\" src=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/ANNAPURNA-NEPAL-Three-Tibetan-women-in-traditional-dresses.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1000\" height=\"681\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/ANNAPURNA-NEPAL-Three-Tibetan-women-in-traditional-dresses.jpg 1000w, https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/ANNAPURNA-NEPAL-Three-Tibetan-women-in-traditional-dresses-300x204.jpg 300w, https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/ANNAPURNA-NEPAL-Three-Tibetan-women-in-traditional-dresses-768x523.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><a name=\"_GoBack\"><\/a> <span lang=\"pt-BR\">Com toda essa propaganda de que o desejo era errado e que se deveria evitar as mulheres, precisei aprender a fingir que n\u00e3o estava interessado. Aprendi a ser discreto. Mesmo sendo meticuloso quando est\u00e1vamos fora \u2013 sempre alerta, atento para n\u00e3o olhar para nenhuma mulher e para aparentar desinteresse quando alguma aproximava de mim \u2013 meus tutores e os monges mais velhos me provocavam sem parar e insinuavam que eu estava de olho nas garotas. Sendo um menino em desenvolvimento, isso criou em mim um certo constrangimento com esse assunto das mulheres.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span lang=\"pt-BR\">Creio que seria ben\u00e9fico se os tutores e os orientadores apresentassem um curso tratando de educa\u00e7\u00e3o sexual e quest\u00f5es de g\u00eanero para os jovens lamas e tulkus. Eles poderiam continuar a explicar sobre as distra\u00e7\u00f5es que isso implica e ao mesmo tempo oferecer um treinamento sobre como respeitar as mulheres e como se comunicar com o sexo oposto. Isso \u00e9 algo totalmente inexistente no treinamento dos tulkus atualmente.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span lang=\"pt-BR\">A segunda coisa mais proibida depois das mulheres era o cinema. Em retrospecto, simpatizo com meus tutores por terem sido t\u00e3o precavidos contra os filmes, especialmente os filmes indianos repletos de hist\u00f3rias e can\u00e7\u00f5es rom\u00e2nticas, plantando ideias na mente dos jovens monges e rinpoches. \u00c9 prov\u00e1vel que muitos desses monges mais velhos jamais tivessem visto homens dan\u00e7ando e abra\u00e7ando mulheres at\u00e9 ver seu primeiro filme. Embora naquela \u00e9poca n\u00e3o houvesse beijos e muito menos cenas expl\u00edcitas, para eles era um ultraje. V\u00e1rios tulkus, monges e rinpoches eram afetados por esse reino de fantasia. Eles de fato se imaginavam com sua parceira rom\u00e2ntica dan\u00e7ando na chuva, rolando por entre as flores. Claro que eu pr\u00f3prio tamb\u00e9m acabei enredado nisso.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-316\" src=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/images.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"249\" height=\"203\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span lang=\"pt-BR\">Uma das maiores dificuldades enfrentadas pelos mestres de disciplina e abades era impedir os monges mais jovens de fugir para ir ao cinema ver filmes. H\u00e1 uma hist\u00f3ria muito engra\u00e7ada de Chatrul Rinpoche, que estava iniciando seu centro de medita\u00e7\u00e3o em Darjeeling nos anos 70, flagrando seus monges que fugiam \u00e0 noite para ir ao cinema. Se Chatrul Rinpoche desconfiasse de algo, ele entrava no cinema no meio do filme e varria a plateia com uma lanterna el\u00e9trica muito potente em busca de seus monges, para ent\u00e3o arrast\u00e1-los de volta ao centro.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-317\" src=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/17687_10153376758397410_1657393514594547518_n.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/17687_10153376758397410_1657393514594547518_n.jpg 400w, https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/17687_10153376758397410_1657393514594547518_n-225x300.jpg 225w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span lang=\"pt-BR\">Uma de minhas primeiras e mais intensas paix\u00f5es foi a atriz indiana Zeenat Aman. Eu morava na capela do pal\u00e1cio do Siquim, rodeado de tutores e atendentes. Eu vivia no andar de cima e no de baixo morava Khandro Tshering Ch\u00f6dron. O banheiro tamb\u00e9m era no andar de baixo. O \u00fanico momento em que me era permitido deixar meus aposentos era para ir ao banheiro. Ocasionalmente me permitiam sair da capela e caminhar pelo pal\u00e1cio. Era um sinal de que meus tutores estavam de bom humor. Ir ao cinema era impens\u00e1vel.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-318\" src=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/maxresdefault-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/maxresdefault-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/maxresdefault-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/maxresdefault-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/maxresdefault-1080x608.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/maxresdefault.jpg 1280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span lang=\"pt-BR\">\u00c0s vezes o Khyentse Labrang realizava grandes pujas e vinham monges de v\u00e1rios lugares. Essa era minha chance de conhecer outros monges jovens, e eles me contavam dos filmes de Bollywood que tinham visto e dos riscos que tinham corrido para faz\u00ea-lo. Eles mencionavam muitos filmes. Tinha um chamado <\/span><span lang=\"pt-BR\"><i>Bobby<\/i><\/span><span lang=\"pt-BR\">. E um chamado <\/span><span lang=\"pt-BR\"><i>Laila Majnu<\/i><\/span><span lang=\"pt-BR\">, mas o que mais me interessava era <\/span><span lang=\"pt-BR\"><i>Satyam Shivam Sundaram<\/i><\/span><span lang=\"pt-BR\">,<\/span><span lang=\"pt-BR\"><i> <\/i><\/span><span lang=\"pt-BR\">estrelado por Zeenat Aman. Nunca tive a chance de assistir, s\u00f3 o que eu conseguia era ouvir os relatos dos monges. Devo ter implorado in\u00fameras vezes para que me contassem essa hist\u00f3ria, de novo e de novo. Cada monge contava sua vers\u00e3o, ent\u00e3o nunca ficava chato. Alguns monges conseguiram contrabandear algumas fotos das estrelas do filme e as ofereceram pra mim. Bom, isso era perigo de verdade; muito mais perigoso do que hist\u00f3rias em quadrinhos. Eu precisava esconder essas fotos em lugares secretos, t\u00e3o secretos que eu mal tinha a oportunidade de ao menos dar uma espiada nelas. Apenas pensar que eu tinha essas imagens guardadas me dava um frio na barriga. Outras atrizes tamb\u00e9m eram famosas, como Hema Malini e Madhu Bala, mas eu era um f\u00e3 ferrenho de Zeenat Aman. Chamem como preferirem: v\u00ednculo c\u00e1rmico, d\u00e9bito c\u00e1rmico, eu tinha um sentimento de fidelidade por ela, me parecia errado olhar para as fotos de outras atrizes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-319\" src=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/47428888.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/47428888.jpg 600w, https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/47428888-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/47428888-300x300.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span lang=\"pt-BR\">Quando Kyabje Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche e Dudjom Rinpoche concediam transmiss\u00f5es, era preciso ouvir atentamente o texto sendo lido. Uma transmiss\u00e3o assim podia durar 10 horas por dia e ningu\u00e9m podia cochilar. Devo confessar, em muitas oportunidades eu estava com a cabe\u00e7a repleta de hist\u00f3rias cinematogr\u00e1ficas. Frequentemente eu me escalava como o her\u00f3i rom\u00e2ntico, rolando sobre a relva florida com Zeenat Aman. Ainda tenho esse h\u00e1bito, mas em vez de cantando na chuva, hoje em dia imagino cen\u00e1rios mais s\u00e9rios, como eu sentado no sal\u00e3o oval, presidente dos Estados Unidos, resolvendo os problemas do mundo.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span lang=\"pt-BR\">Meu v\u00ednculo c\u00e1rmico com Zeenat Aman se esgotou quando o v\u00ednculo c\u00e1rmico com outra mulher floresceu. Eu de alguma forma conseguira p\u00f4r as m\u00e3os numa foto de uma garota europ\u00e9ia e Zeenat foi completamente deixada de lado de imediato. S\u00f3 muitos anos mais tarde descobri que a garota na foto era a atriz italiana Claudia Cardinale. Essa paix\u00e3o nunca terminou de fato. At\u00e9 hoje sempre que encomendo thangkas de Tara e Vajrayogini pe\u00e7o ao artista para usar Claudia Cardinale como modelo.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-320\" src=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/claudia-C-1024x368.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"368\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/claudia-C-1024x368.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/claudia-C-300x108.jpg 300w, https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/claudia-C-768x276.jpg 768w, https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/claudia-C-1080x388.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/claudia-C.jpg 1114w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span lang=\"pt-BR\">Foi essa foto de Claudia Cardinale que me custou a mais severa das puni\u00e7\u00f5es que sofri em toda a minha inf\u00e2ncia. Apesar de todas as advert\u00eancias, admoesta\u00e7\u00f5es e repreens\u00f5es, as mulheres e o cinema se infiltraram em minha vida. Foram repreens\u00f5es e serm\u00f5es sem fim quando acharam aquela foto escondida no assoalho.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span lang=\"pt-BR\">Mesmo que eu jamais possa me declarar como sendo uma pessoa com realiza\u00e7\u00e3o espiritual, ao menos tenho uma conex\u00e3o com o Buda e o Darma. Gosto de pensar que em consequ\u00eancia de minhas paixonites por Zeenat Aman e Claudia Cardinale, um dia elas tamb\u00e9m venham a ter uma conex\u00e3o com o Buda e o Darma.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-321\" src=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/8k95w1iix2dz-1024x529.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"529\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/8k95w1iix2dz-1024x529.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/8k95w1iix2dz-300x155.jpg 300w, https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/8k95w1iix2dz-768x397.jpg 768w, https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/8k95w1iix2dz-1080x558.jpg 1080w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider _builder_version=&#8221;4.4.8&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;30px||||false|false&#8221;][\/et_pb_divider][et_pb_post_nav _builder_version=&#8221;4.4.8&#8243; width=&#8221;85.3%&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;|-108px||-80px||&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;|31px||||&#8221; border_radii=&#8221;off||||&#8221;][\/et_pb_post_nav][et_pb_comments _builder_version=&#8221;4.4.8&#8243;][\/et_pb_comments][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Obsess\u00e3o e paix\u00e3o podem ser ben\u00e9ficas, isso no entanto depende de quem esteja apaixonado e de quem seja o objeto da paix\u00e3o. Quem se apaixone por Siddharta \u00e9 uma pessoa de sorte. Abrigar tal sentimento por algu\u00e9m sublime significa que se tem bom gosto e um bom v\u00ednculo c\u00e1rmico. Nos apaixonamos pelas pessoas mais improv\u00e1veis [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2444,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"Obsession and infatuation can be positive but it depends on who is infatuated and the person who is the object of infatuation. If you are infatuated by Siddhartha, you are very lucky. To have that feeling toward someone sublime means you have good taste and a good karmic link.\r\n\r\nWe get infatuated by some of the most unlikely people and this is because of those karmic connections. Many times we become infatuated by people who will destroy us. We just fall for those things, like a mosquito jumping to the electric zapper. Other times we get infatuated by people who take us in the right direction. Sometimes we have karma to be infatuated by people who <em>both<\/em> destroy us and lead us in the right direction, which isn\u2019t a bad thing. And sometimes you are the object of the infatuation and without trying you might destroy them. Or you might lead them in the right direction.\r\n\r\n<img class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-312\" src=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/9f64d5692f217ce7d86da26171cf6fee-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" \/>\r\n\r\nI have had so many crushes in my life. And like a lot of people, I often had crushes on people who I'd never met, people who were elusive, out of my league, or completely off limits, like the mother of the Rinpoche I mentioned <a href=\"ttp:\/\/mugwortborn.wpengine.com\/project\/episode-seven-loss-of-innocence\/\">before<\/a>. Such are the workings of karma. Ironically, I may have had more crushes than most because I was not supposed to have crushes. I was supposed to be a lama, an incarnation, a tulku, above ordinary human beings. The people surrounding me wanted to protect me from distractions. They thought it was their duty to distance me from the objects of crushes and to make sure I viewed women as hindrances, at best, and as possible obstacle makers. I guess the human mind is prone to wanting what is prohibited because none of this managed to sway me. I have always been curious about women and romance. The forbidden fruit is the sweetest.\r\n\r\nMy tutors gave me very contradictory views about women. Most of them really denigrated women and painted them as villains, especially the monastic tutors who were practicing renunciation of household life. They personally did everything they could to avoid desire and the distractions of relationships and since that was how they lived their lives, they naturally preached it, like a vegetarian promotes vegetarianism. It was their habit. It was what they did. I suppose that if I was a woman Rinpoche, they might have preached men are distractions, just like nuns are supposed to think. On the other hand, a few of my tutors, who were yogis, taught me that denigrating women was a defect. I remember one of my tutors, a yogi named Lama Kunga, who was a disciple of Lama Gangshar, told me that even a single lock of a woman\u2019s hair had billions of cities of dakinis.\r\n\r\nYet it seems that all over the world, especially in Asia, there is this cultural attitude that women are inferior. Even today at certain monasteries, especially in places like Bhutan, women are barred from certain protector shrine rooms like the Mahakali room. It is understandable for a monastery to exclude women, since it\u2019s like a boys hostel. But it is ironic that they prevent women from entering the Mahakali shrine in particular because Mahakali is the most supreme woman herself. I believe this is absolutely a cultural thing that is staining the Buddhadharma.\r\n\r\n<img class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-314\" src=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/6247685956_c50bcf9be1_b-1024x768.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"768\" \/>\r\n\r\nMy tutors were especially wary of western women, \u201cIngie girls\u201d they called them. They just didn\u2019t know how to relate to them walking around with their light hair, blue eyes and fair skin, wearing revealing clothes like jeans. The lamas were used to seeing Tibetan girls in fluffy costumes that looked like big blankets with shy downcast eyes. Even the long skirts Western women wore could be suggestive. It was their body language, the way they looked directly in your eyes, because that\u2019s the polite way to do it in the west. So in the eyes of the lamas Western women were dangerous and the warnings never stopped. They were convinced that tulkus were being ruined by Ingie girls. But statistically that\u2019s not true. Many more tulkus ended up running off with Asian women. But there was this kind of prejudice.\r\n\r\n<img class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-315\" src=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/ANNAPURNA-NEPAL-Three-Tibetan-women-in-traditional-dresses.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1000\" height=\"681\" \/>\r\n\r\nWith all this propaganda that desire was not good and women should be avoided, I had to learn to pretend that I wasn\u2019t interested. I learned how to be discrete. Even though I was meticulous when we went out\u2014always on guard, careful not to look at women and to appear disinterested when they approached me\u2014my tutors and the older monks would tease me endlessly and insinuate that I was eyeing girls. For a growing child, this cultivated a sense of embarrassment around the topic of women.\r\n\r\nI think it would be beneficial if the tutors and guides gave young lamas and tulkus a tutorial on sex education and gender issues. They could continue to explain about the distractions involved, but they could also train how to respect women and how to communicate with the opposite sex. This is totally missing in tulku training today.\r\n\r\nThe next most prohibited thing after women was the cinema. Looking back, I can sympathize with my tutors for being so wary of films, especially Indian films, which were full of romantic storylines and songs, planting ideas in the minds of young monks and rinpoches. Many of these older monks probably had never seen men and women dancing and hugging until they went to a film. Even though in those days there was no kissing, let alone explicit scenes, it was outrageous to them. Many tulkus, monks and Rinpoches were susceptible to that fantastical realm. They really could imagine themselves having a romantic partner dancing in the rain, rolling around in the flowers. Of course I ended up becoming swept up in that that too.\r\n\r\n<img class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-316\" src=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/images.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"249\" height=\"203\" \/>\r\n\r\nOne of the biggest struggles the discipline masters and abbots faced was preventing the younger monks from sneaking out to the cinema and watching films. There is a very funny story of Chatrul Rinpoche, who was starting his meditation center in Darjeeling in the 1970s, catching his monks who\u2019d sneaked out to the cinema in the evenings. If Chatrul Rinpoche found out, he would come into the theater in the middle of the film and shine a bright electric torch at the audience looking for his monks so he could drag them back to the center.\r\n\r\n<img class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-317\" src=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/17687_10153376758397410_1657393514594547518_n.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"533\" \/>\r\n\r\nOne of my first and strongest crushes was the Indian actress Zeenat Aman. I was living in the chapel at the palace of Sikkim, surrounded by tutors and attendants. I lived upstairs and downstairs was Khandro Tshering Ch\u00f6dron. The bathroom was also downstairs. The only time I was allowed out of my room was when I went to the toilet. Occasionally I was allowed to leave the chapel and walk around the palace. This was a sign that my tutors were in a good mood. Going out to the movies was unthinkable.\r\n\r\n<img class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-318\" src=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/maxresdefault-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" \/>\r\n\r\nAt times, Khyentse Labrang would do big pujas and monks would come from different places. This was my chance to meet some younger monks and they told me about the Bollywood films they had seen and the risks they took to go. There were so many films that they talked about. There was one called <em>Bobby<\/em>. And a film called <em>Laila Majnu <\/em>but the one I was most interested in was <em>Satyam Shivam Sundaram <\/em>starring Zeenat Aman. I had no chance to go see it, I could only hear about it from the monks. I must have begged them to tell me the story so many times, again and again. Each monk had a different version so it never got old. A few of the monks managed to smuggle in a few photos of the films stars and offered them to me. Now this was dangerous, much more dangerous than comic books. I had to hide these photos in special places, so much so that I hardly had a chance to even look at them. Just knowing that I possessed the images somewhere gave me a thrill. There were other popular actresses like Hema Malini and Madhu Bala, but I was a staunch Zeenat Aman fan. Call it karmic link, karmic debt, there was a sense of loyalty toward her, it felt wrong to look at pictures of other actresses.\r\n\r\n<img class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-319\" src=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.wpengine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/47428888.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"600\" \/>\r\n\r\nWhen Kyabje Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche and Dudjom Rinpoche were conferring transmissions, we would have to listen to the text being read. It could sometimes take 10 hours per day and we were not allowed to fall asleep. I have to confess, many times my mind was filled with cinematic stories. Oftentimes, I would cast myself as the romantic hero, rolling in the flowering fields with Zeenat Aman. I still have that habit but instead of singing in the rain, nowadays it\u2019s more serious like imagining I\u2019m sitting in the oval office as the president of the United States, solving the problems of the world.\r\n\r\nMy karmic link with Zeenat Aman exhausted when a karmic link to another woman bloomed. I somehow obtained a photo of a European girl and Zeenat was totally forgotten on the spot. Only many years later I found the girl in the photo was Italian actress Claudia Cardinale. This crush never really stopped. Even today when I commission thangkas of Tara and Vajrayogini, I ask them to fashion them after Claudia Cardinale.\r\n\r\n<img class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-320\" src=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/claudia-C-1024x368.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"368\" \/>\r\n\r\nIt was Claudia Cardinale\u2019s photo that lead me to the most severe punishment of my childhood. Despite all the warnings, admonitions, and scoldings, women and cinema crept into my life. I never heard the end of the lectures and scoldings after they found her photo in my floorboards.\r\n\r\nEven though I can never claim myself as an accomplished spiritual person, at least I have a connection to the Buddha and the dharma. I like to think that through my crushes on Zeenat Aman and Claudia Cardinale they might also be connected to the Buddha and the dharma eventually.\r\n\r\n<img class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-321\" src=\"https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/8k95w1iix2dz-1024x529.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"529\" \/>","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"project_category":[46],"project_tag":[],"class_list":["post-2442","project","type-project","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","project_category-episodes-pt-br"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/pt-br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/project\/2442","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/pt-br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/project"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/pt-br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/project"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/pt-br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/pt-br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2442"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/pt-br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/project\/2442\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/pt-br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2444"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/pt-br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2442"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"project_category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/pt-br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/project_category?post=2442"},{"taxonomy":"project_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mugwortborn.com\/pt-br\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/project_tag?post=2442"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}